I just need five minutes....

I never realized how important having a few minutes to myself was until I had kids. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending as much time with my kids as possible, but sometimes, mama needs time to just take two deep breaths in a quiet place. Growing up, I was always content just being by myself reading a book or doing homework (think kid who rides to the party with her sister and then spends the whole time reading in a corner). Yep, that was me.

Fast forward…..

here we are today, 2 kids in and the only time that I have alone is in the shower, and even that is questionable at times. There is nothing more relaxing than trying to soothe a crying baby and make sure your toddler doesn’t jump off the bed while trying to rinse soap off of your body. The past few months, I have found myself not even trying to find time for myself, I am talking not even attempting to close the glass shower door at this point.

Because I need silence to recharge so that I can be a functioning human being and a present mom for my kids, I find myself trying to recharge at 1 am when both kids are sleep (like right now). That doesn’t make for a very restful night of sleep, so for the past few weeks, I have been trying to find something that I could do to “pamper” myself. Sounds simple enough, right? Not really when you are looking for something that you can do in 5 minutes or less and that is simple enough that if both of your children start screaming at once, it doesn’t take 15 minutes to remove. Thank you, Nair!

I read a few mom blogs to try and get some ideas. I quickly realized that most of these women do not share the same lifestyle that I have and there is nothing wrong with that. I don’t have the option to go on 15-hour spa day. I mean in theory, it sounds like a dream, but I slowly have to shatter it and return to my reality which is that I can safely squeeze five minutes in for a “luxury” for myself. Insert all of the people reminding me that I am a still a woman and I have to put myself first and treat myself and all of the other amazing things that some women are able to do, but those are not realistic for me.

So why are we here?

So why are we here? Well, a couple of weeks ago, while I was looking for a planner on Amazon, I came across this really interesting lip scrub. It was called a Raw Sugar Lemon Lip Scrub (link below). I thought, hey why not try that. There is no such thing as having lips that are too soft, right? With that in mind, I added it to my cart and then I was recommended the matching lip balm (link below). Score! Of course, in good Amazon prime fashion, I ordered both items. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I figured It was worth a try.

I got both items in two days, and I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. I have read some pretty mixed reviews about sugar scrubs. This one had a very nice smell and texture. It was not extremely oily or overly rough. The makers of this particular scrub did a great job ensuring that the scrub was the perfect mix of exfoliation and moisture. And the best part, it only took 5 minutes! It was the simplest thing I have ever done in my life. You simply take a small amount of the scrub and rub it on your lips. You can feel the dry skin melting away. Really you just rubbed it off, but why ruin the moment. One it had been on for about 5 minutes, I rinsed it off with water, patted my lips dry and then applied the most heavenly lip balm ever to my lips. Seriously, it was like a silk angel was dancing on my lips.

Aside from how awesome my lips felt, the most amazing part of this whole experience was that not one, but both of my children cooperated. It was like magic! No one was crying or calling my name for the entire five minutes. I finally had a second for myself. This may seem like a really small thing to most people, but for me, this was a big deal. In the past 3 years, I can count on one hand the number of times that I actually get to do something uninterrupted, but this is a game changer. This was like sunshine in a jar and it seemed like my kids understood that as well. Do you find yourself in need of five minutes alone or do you just want soft lips? You need to try this! I have used the sugar scrub four times and I use the lip balm on a daily basis. This combination has given me a little taste of freedom. I know, I know, it is only five minutes, but when you spend 9 to 10 hours at work and 24 hours being a full-time mom, five minutes can feel like an eternity.

Maybe a lip scrub isn’t for you, but find 5-minutes in your day uninterrupted and do something for yourself. Take a walk, write a poem, color a picture. Do something that makes you feel like a new (or more relaxed) person when it is over. If you are a mom, don’t feel guilty about needing a couple of minutes where no one is calling your name or tugging on your pants. It will help you get back some of the energy that you need to keep killing it as a mom, employee, wife, sister, or friend. You’ve got

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Every Morning, Make Your Bed

This week I spent most of my time making a list of things that I needed to do and then compiling lists of the things I needed to do to actually accomplish the items on my to-do list. Welcome to adulthood. Sounds exhausting, right? It is! As I tucked my kids into bed and tried to think through what I needed to accomplish before the weekend, I realized that I never feel like I am truly accomplishing anything. I am constantly just trying to make it to the next task, but never really allowing myself to start the next day with a clean slate. I am constantly letting each day spill into the next day.

No wonder why I never truly know what day of the week it is.

As I sat at the foot of my bed trying to decide what I want to wear tomorrow, I glanced back at my bed and realized how put together it seemed. The pillows were in the appropriate place, the blankets were all folded and tucked neatly and it looked finished. Why didn’t I feel that way? Every morning that there isn’t a tiny person bundled up in my covers, I make it a point to ensure that my bed looks put together. But why? Growing up, my mom would ensure that we made our bed every morning and I never knew why, it was just something that we did.  I am not expecting anyone to see it, so why do I feel like I still have to do it? These are questions I never really thought about, probably because they aren’t on my list of things to do. While I sat there on the edge of my bed, I was not sure why I was thinking about them at that very moment. And then it dawned on me, I needed an item that I can simply check off of my list each day. It is one thing that I know that I cannot fail at. Every morning, I get up knowing that I want to give everything and everyone in my life 100% and I know that I will fail at that because it is unrealistic, but yet and still, I put those expectations on myself every single morning and every evening, I come home knowing full well that I left something unfinished on my desk or that I was unable to give each of my kids my undivided attention each time my son called my name or my daughter cried.

I have a to-do list that never gets completely done for one reason or another, so I can never pat myself on the back and say “great job. You rocked the day”. But why do I have to finish everything just to feel good about the things that I did accomplish? Why do I not allow myself to celebrate each of the small things that I can do everyday? I am not superwoman, no matter how many blanket capes I wear for my son. Why is one item crossed off the list not enough? It is! If you have one hundred items on your list and you can complete two, you had a successful day. We have to stop comparing our lives to those around us. Just because someone else can wake up at 3am, go to the gym for 3 hours, head home, cook a 7-course breakfast for their spouse and kids, get dressed and make it to work before 8am, does not mean that you rolling out of bed at 6, grabbing Starbuck’s and making it to work at 0759 is not still an accomplishment for you.

You have to choose the small things that you know you can do each day and do them. If you want to walk one mile, get up and start moving. If you want to spend ten minutes by yourself, uninterrupted, put it on your to-do list, do it, and check it off. We make our daily tasks so daunting, that we are unknowingly setting ourselves up for failure. Instead of making a list with all of the things that you have to accomplish for the whole day or week, break your list up into tasks that you can accomplish within just the next hour or two and then when you accomplish them, give yourself time to celebrate that you got them done. Go all out, have a cookie if you want. Kids shouldn’t be the only ones rewarded for earning stickers on their charts. As adults, we have to find ways to give ourselves a little bit of grace. Many of you, like me, are juggling a lot of different roles and responsibilities and you have to give yourself a chance to begin and end each day feeling like you did something. Even when you have a long list of unfinished tasks that you have to leave for the next day. Find one or two things that you are committed to doing each day and DO THEM.

And don’t forget to make your bed 😊.

Mondays are for Blue Shoes and Coffee

Today was the Mondayest of all Mondays. Sunday night, I decided that watching "Quantico" on Netflix was more important than getting some much-needed rest so that I would be able to tackle what I knew was going to be a LONG Monday. But, who doesn't love Quantico? Most days, the tv in my house never leaves Nick Jr, so I have learned to take advantage of nap time and bedtime to catch up on all shows that don't involve animated characters, problem-solving skills, perfectly timed musical numbers and unwavering excitement. Normally, I am able to drown out the noise of any show that I am watching and fall asleep, because I am exhausted, but not this Sunday. This Sunday I decided that the clock had to be wrong and I got so wrapped up in Quantico, that when I realized it was 0230 I knew it was time to at least attempt to go to sleep. I switched the tv back to Nick Jr and fell asleep to the soothing sound of Paw Patrol. In a perfect world, I would have checked my alarm to make sure that it was strategically set in 5-minute increments beginning at 0515, but let's be honest, who is thinking about an alarm at 0230 while watching a terrorist attack get foiled by rogue operatives? Not me! We all know how this story ends, with me jumping out of bed like a ninja at 0545 because my plan is to be out of the house by 0620 so that I can get to work by 0630 and catch up on everything that came in over the weekend. Classic right? Oh, but it gets better. You know how your parents always told you to prepare your clothes the night before so that you were ready to go the next morning? Well, because I have a slight addiction to shopping (everyone does, right?), I am normally pretty good about selecting what I am going to wear the next day so that I am not fumbling around in the dark trying not to wake up my son as he sleeps peacefully. So I decided that I will just reach into the closet blindly, pull out the first thing that my hand touches and go with it. I didn't have time to go through multiple options this morning. Luckily, my first pull was a dress! Thank goodness! It would have been a more difficult task if I had to match up a shirt with an appropriate skirt or pants. I had the dress, but I still needed to choose shoes, do my hair, cook my keto-friendly breakfast and most importantly, make coffee. I should reiterate, that I have a "slight" addiction to shopping, so when it comes to choosing shoes, it is not as simple as choosing a black shoe or a white shoe. No, my shoe collection is a color-wheel with many different styles and heel heights. Normally, I choose my outfit around my shoes, so today my process was completely thrown off. I walked over to my wall of shoes and prayed that the shoes I grabbed were black. I slipped on my slippers and ran out of my room. I should mention that I have the best brother in the world. He met me at the stairs with eggs, bacon and...COFFEE. I was off to a good start. Just leaving ten minutes late, but really, who is keeping track at this point? I would have normally looked in the mirror at least twice by now to make sure I looked presentable, but not this particular morning. This morning, I trusted my instincts and just went with it. As I was locking the door, I glanced down and realized that I had on the most adorable blue shoes. Blue, such a random color shoe to grab, but in the dark, it looked black to me. What are the odds that I would grab the one dress in my closet that this particular shade of blue would match? I felt pretty good about this "choice" overall. These blue shoes represent more than me running late. They represent my ability to be okay without all of the planning and preparation that goes into every day of my life. They represent my ability to just go with the flow and let life lead in some aspects. This morning taught me that sometimes the best things happen when I feel like everything is going wrong. This is exactly what I needed to start the week. These blue shoes made my Monday better than I expected. With the help of coffee, I dare say that this Monday was a welcome part of my week. I don't wish that it was still the weekend, I feel ready to take on the rest of the week. Does this mean that I won't pick my clothes out the night before? Probably not, because let's be honest, how many times will I actually match? But, this does mean that I am okay with not having to plan every aspect of my day and life and I have proven to myself that chaos has the ability to bring about beautiful change.