No, I’m Not ‘Back to My Old Self’. I’m Finding Someone Better!

There’s a version of me I used to know.

She had rhythm. She had a fire. She got dressed in the morning just because it made her feel good. She made time for herself, not as a reward, not as a luxury, but as a normal, necessary part of her day.

Then I became a mom. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything. But no one told me how hard it would be to hold onto her, the version of me who existed before everyone needed something from me all the time.

This summer, I’ve had my six-year-old daughter and nine-year-old son home with me all day, every day. I also work from home, which sounds flexible, and it is, technically. But what it really means is I’m on call from the moment my eyes open to the moment they close, juggling Zoom meetings and snack requests, deadlines and meltdowns, grocery lists and the guilt of too much screen time. There’s always something. Always someone.

And in the middle of that noise, it’s easy to forget about me.

It’s easy to wake up and think, what’s the point of getting ready? I’m not going anywhere. No one’s going to see me. There are lunches to make and arguments to settle and messes to clean up before I even open my laptop.

But about two weeks ago, I got tired of feeling invisible, even to myself.

So I made a quiet promise: I’m going to get ready for the day. Every day. Not for an event. Not for someone else. Just for me.

And I kept that promise.

I started putting on clothes that made me feel good, even if no one saw me. I did my hair, even if it got messy by noon. I wore earrings, even if they were the only shiny thing I touched that day.

It wasn’t about looking a certain way. It was about feeling like I existed outside of my responsibilities. It was a small act of rebellion against the idea that I had to earn my own care.

And honestly? It woke something up in me.

That waking up didn’t start with motherhood. It actually started when I walked away from a relationship that wasn’t good for me, a relationship that made me second-guess my worth, my instincts, my voice. It was the kind of connection that slowly chips away at how you see yourself, until you start to shrink without even realizing it. You start viewing yourself through someone else’s distorted lens: too much, not enough, hard to love.

Leaving that relationship wasn’t easy. But it was necessary. And when it ended, I began the slow, quiet process of looking in the mirror again, not just literally, but emotionally. I had to start asking: Who am I without the noise of someone else’s opinion? Who am I when no one is watching?

The answer wasn’t immediate. It still isn’t.

But every day that I show up for myself, even in small ways, I get a little closer to her.

The real me.

The me before life got heavy.

The me within the weight, not just the one before it.

Motherhood doesn’t erase who you are. It adds to you, but it’s easy to forget that when everything feels like it’s subtracting from your energy, your time, your body, your peace.

Some days, I still feel lost in the blur of summer chaos, my kids arguing in the background while I’m on a work call, the guilt of too many snacks and too much screen time, the mental load of trying to be present and productive and patient. Some days, I snap. Some days, I cry. Some days, I phone it all in and hide in the bathroom for five minutes just to breathe.

But even on those days, I remind myself: I matter.

Not just as a mom. Not just as a provider.

As a woman. As a person. As me.

And I want my kids to see that, too.

I want my daughter to know that caring for yourself isn’t something you have to earn.

I want my son to know that women don’t stop existing when they become mothers.

I want me to remember that this version of my life doesn’t cancel out every other version of myself that still deserves to live.

So if you’re in the thick of it right now, motherhood, heartbreak, working from home with kids at your feet and cereal under your desk, please hear me when I say: you’re still in there. Even if you haven’t seen yourself clearly in a while. Even if you feel like you’ve been surviving more than living.

You don’t need a special reason to pour into yourself.

You don’t need to “earn” rest or joy or self-worth.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to feel beautiful, confident, alive again.

You just need to start.

One small step at a time.

Tomorrow, put something on that makes you feel a little more like you.

Do your hair. Play your favorite music. Make your coffee exactly the way you like it, and drink it hot, if you can. Look at yourself in the mirror and say: I’m still here.

Because you are.

And you’re more than enough.

Don't Fake it Until You Make It: 3 Strategies to Help you Stop Faking Confidence and Truly Heal

Confidence is not just a superficial facade; it is an inner state of being that emanates from a place of self-assuredness and authenticity. As a confidence and life transformation coach, I understand the struggle many women face in trying to project confidence while feeling a deep sense of insecurity within. In this blog post, I will guide you on a journey towards stopping the act of faking confidence and instead embracing genuine healing. By implementing the three key strategies I will share, you can transform your life and unlock your true potential. Are you ready to embark on this empowering journey?

Embrace Vulnerability:
One of the greatest misconceptions about confidence is that it requires an impenetrable shield against vulnerability. In reality, true confidence stems from embracing vulnerability and using it as a catalyst for growth. To stop faking confidence and begin the healing process, it is essential to acknowledge and honor your emotions, fears, and insecurities. Understand that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a gateway to your authentic self.

a. Practice Self-Reflection: Set aside regular moments of introspection to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Ask yourself tough questions and delve deep into your emotions. This process allows you to identify the root causes of your lack of genuine confidence and initiate the healing journey.

b. Cultivate Self-Compassion: Replace self-criticism with self-compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer to a loved one. Acknowledge that everyone has moments of self-doubt and that it is okay to experience vulnerability. Embrace self-compassion as a crucial tool in healing and building genuine confidence.

Rediscover Your Core Values:
When you fake confidence, you may find yourself living according to society's expectations or trying to fit into predefined molds. However, true healing and confidence come from aligning your actions and beliefs with your core values. By reconnecting with your authentic self, you can step into your power and exude confidence effortlessly.

a. Identify Your Core Values: Take the time to reflect on your values, the principles and beliefs that define who you are at your core. Ask yourself what truly matters to you and what you stand for. This process will help you gain clarity and set a solid foundation for authentic confidence.

b. Align Your Actions: Once you have identified your core values, align your daily actions and decisions with them. This consistency between your values and behavior creates a sense of integrity, which is a powerful driver of genuine confidence. Challenge yourself to make choices that reflect your true self, even if they may be uncomfortable or defy societal norms.

Transform Your Mindset:
A mindset shift is essential to stop faking confidence and embrace lasting transformation. It involves rewiring your thoughts and beliefs to align with your newfound self-worth and authentic identity. By adopting a growth mindset and challenging self-limiting beliefs, you can break free from the cycle of insecurity and step into a life of genuine confidence.

a. Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Become aware of the negative self-talk patterns that hold you back. Replace self-limiting beliefs with empowering affirmations and positive self-statements. Surround yourself with uplifting and supportive influences that reinforce your newfound confidence.

b. Embrace Growth and Learning: View challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth. Embrace a mindset of continuous learning and personal development. When you approach life with a growth-oriented perspective, you open yourself up to new possibilities and become more resilient in the face of adversity.

Congratulations! By implementing the three strategies outlined above, you are well on your way to stopping the act of faking confidence and embarking on a genuine healing journey. Remember, healing takes time, patience, and dedication. However, you don't have to go through this transformation alone.

If you are ready to accelerate your healing journey and unlock your true potential, I invite you to join my 12-week transformative coaching program. In this program, I will provide you with personalized guidance, support, and tools to deepen your self-awareness, build authentic confidence, and transform your life. Together, we will embark on a transformative journey that will empower you to show up as your most empowered and authentic self.

Are you ready to take the next step towards genuine healing and lasting confidence? Reach out to me today and let's begin this transformative journey together. Remember, you deserve to live a life of true confidence and empowerment.

Focus on Your Strengths!

Do you ever feel like you're just going through the motions of life, without really knowing what your purpose is or what makes you truly unique? It's a common feeling, but it doesn't have to be that way. By identifying and leveraging your core character strengths, you can unlock a sense of purpose and fulfillment that can help you achieve greater things in life.

So, what are core character strengths? These are the positive qualities that are part of your innate personality and shape how you think, feel, and behave. They're the things that come naturally to you and make you stand out from others. Identifying your core character strengths is an important step in understanding yourself and your potential.

Identifying Your Core Character Strengths

There are many ways to identify your core character strengths, but one of the most popular methods is the VIA Character Strengths Assessment. This assessment was developed by psychologists Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman and measures 24 universal strengths across six broad categories: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence.

To take the assessment, you'll answer a series of questions about yourself, and the results will show you which of the 24 strengths are your top five. Once you know your core character strengths, you can start to think about how you can use them to achieve greater things in life.

For example, if your top strength is creativity, you might consider pursuing a career in a creative field or using your creativity to solve problems in your personal and professional life. If your top strength is kindness, you might focus on building strong relationships with others and finding ways to help those in need.

Another way to identify your core character strengths is to reflect on personal experiences where you felt particularly engaged, energized, and fulfilled. Think about activities where you lost track of time or felt in "flow." What strengths did you use during those experiences? Were you using your creativity, leadership skills, or teamwork abilities?

The third step in identifying your core character strengths is to seek feedback from others. Ask trusted friends, family, or colleagues to share their perspectives on your strengths. What do they see as your unique talents or abilities? What do they admire most about you? This feedback can help you gain a better understanding of how others see you and how you can use your strengths to benefit yourself and others.

By using your core character strengths in meaningful ways, you'll not only feel more fulfilled and purposeful, but you'll also be more effective in achieving your goals. Studies have shown that people who use their strengths regularly are happier, more engaged, and more productive than those who don't.

Of course, identifying your core character strengths is just the first step. To truly leverage them, you'll need to develop them and use them intentionally. This might involve seeking out opportunities to use your strengths, practicing them in your daily life, and seeking feedback from others to help you refine them.

 

Using Your Core Character Strengths for Greater Success and Fulfillment

Once you have identified your core character strengths, it's important to find ways to use them in your daily life. Here are three ways to apply your strengths for greater success and fulfillment:

1. Find Work or Activities that Align with Your Strengths

Identifying your core character strengths can help you find work or activities that align with your strengths, increasing your chances of success and satisfaction. Using your core character strengths at work can help you excel in your job and find more fulfillment in your career. For example, if you're strong in creativity, consider pursuing a career in the arts or design. If you have strong leadership skills, consider taking on a management role at work or volunteering for a leadership position in your community.

2. Use Your Strengths to Connect with Others

Your core character strengths can also help you cultivate stronger relationships with others. For example, if your top strength is empathy, you can use that strength to connect with others on a deeper level, understand their perspectives and build stronger relationships. If you're strong in humor, use this strength to lighten the mood and bring joy to others. If your top strength is kindness, you can show kindness to others in your daily interactions, which can help build trust and strengthen relationships.

3. Develop Your Strengths Further

Finally, once you have identified your core character strengths, continue to develop them further. Consider taking classes, reading books, or seeking out mentors to help you improve your skills and deepen your understanding of your strengths.

4. Develop Resilience

Your core character strengths can also help you develop resilience in the face of challenges and adversity. For example, if your top strength is perseverance, you can use that strength to stay motivated and keep pushing forward when faced with obstacles. If your top strength is optimism, you can use that strength to maintain a positive outlook and find opportunities in even the most difficult situations.

5. Find More Fulfillment in Life

Using your core character strengths to achieve your goals and find fulfillment in life requires intentional effort. For example, if your top strength is curiosity, you can look for opportunities to learn and explore new things. If your top strength is gratitude, you can cultivate a daily gratitude practice, which can help you find more joy and fulfillment in your life.

It's also important to recognize that your core character strengths are not fixed or immutable. You can develop and strengthen them over time with practice and effort. By focusing on your strengths and using them intentionally, you can become the best version of yourself and achieve greater things than you ever thought possible.

In conclusion, identifying and leveraging your core character strengths is essential to achieving greater success and fulfillment in life. Understanding your strengths requires self-reflection and self-awareness, and taking a character strengths assessment can also be helpful. Once you've identified your strengths, it's crucial to learn how to use them effectively, whether it's at work, in your relationships, or in your personal life.

Who is Caring for You?

Self-care is the deliberate and proactive effort we make to take care of ourselves physically and emotionally. It’s about making time for yourself and prioritizing your own well-being. In today’s fast-paced world, where we are constantly bombarded with demands and responsibilities, it’s easy to neglect our own needs and forget to take care of ourselves. However, self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for a fulfilling life.

The term self-care has become increasingly popular in recent years, and for good reason. In today's fast-paced, demanding world, it is all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and neglect our own well-being. However, taking care of ourselves is essential for a fulfilling life. From physical health to emotional stability, self-care can provide numerous benefits that can improve our overall quality of life.

Self-care involves engaging in activities and practices that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can include anything from taking a relaxing bath to exercising regularly to spending time with loved ones. It's important to note that self-care looks different for everyone, and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is to find what works best for you and make self-care a priority in your life.

In this blog, we will explore the many benefits of self-care, including improved physical health, increased emotional stability, enhanced productivity and motivation, and a greater sense of purpose and meaning. By taking care of ourselves, we can live happier, healthier, and more fulfilling lives.

Why is Self-Care Important?

Self-care is crucial for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. When we neglect our own needs and prioritize the needs of others, we can quickly become burned out and overwhelmed. This can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion, decreased motivation and productivity, and an overall decrease in our quality of life. On the other hand, when we prioritize self-care, we can experience improved physical health, increased emotional stability, and a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment.

Types of Self-Care:

Physical Self-Care: This type of self-care involves taking care of your physical health and well-being. This can include activities such as regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, getting enough sleep, and managing stress levels.

Emotional Self-Care: This type of self-care involves taking care of your emotional health. This can include activities such as journaling, practicing mindfulness, spending time in nature, or simply doing something that brings you joy and peace.

Mental Self-Care: This type of self-care involves taking care of your mental health. This can include activities such as meditation, therapy, reading, or engaging in creative activities. Mental self-care is an important aspect of overall well-being and is essential for managing stress, reducing anxiety, and improving mood. Mental self-care can involve engaging in activities that promote positive thinking, reduce stress, and increase feelings of calm and relaxation.

Spiritual Self-Care: This type of self-care involves connecting with a higher power or something greater than oneself. This can include practices such as prayer, mindfulness, or connecting with nature.

Social Self-Care: This type of self-care involves connecting with others and building meaningful relationships. This can include activities such as spending time with loved ones, volunteering, or participating in community events.

Creative Self-Care: This type of self-care involves engaging in creative activities that bring joy and fulfillment. This can include activities such as painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument.

It's important to note that self-care can look different for everyone, and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is to find what works best for you and make self-care a priority in your life. Whether it's physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, social, or creative self-care, taking care of yourself can bring numerous benefits and help you lead a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

The Benefits of Self-Care:

Self-care has numerous benefits, both in the short-term and the long-term. Some of the benefits of self-care include:

• Improved physical health: When we prioritize self-care, we make time for healthy habits and behaviors that can improve our physical health, such as exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep.

• Increased emotional stability: By taking care of our emotional needs, we can improve our emotional well-being, reduce stress and anxiety, and increase our overall happiness and fulfillment.

• Enhanced productivity and motivation: When we are well-rested and emotionally balanced, we have the energy and drive to tackle our daily responsibilities and pursue our goals.

• Greater sense of purpose and meaning: When we prioritize self-care, we have the space and time to reflect on our values, goals, and what truly matters to us. This can lead to a greater sense of purpose and meaning in our lives.

How to Incorporate Self-Care into Your Life:

Incorporating self-care into your daily routine can seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some tips for making self-care a priority in your life:

• Make time for self-care: Set aside time each day, or each week, for self-care activities. Whether it’s a daily yoga practice, or a weekly date with yourself, make sure you make self-care a priority.

• Experiment and find what works for you: Try different self-care activities and see what resonates with you. Don’t be afraid to experiment and find what works best for you.

• Get support: Surround yourself with people who support your self-care journey. This can be friends, family, or a therapist or counselor.

• Be kind and compassionate to yourself: Remember that self-care is a journey, and it’s okay to make mistakes. 

In conclusion, self-care is a necessary component of a fulfilling life. By prioritizing our own needs and taking care of ourselves, both physically and emotionally, we can experience improved physical health, increased emotional stability, enhanced productivity and motivation, and a greater sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. Remember, self-care is a journey, and it’s important to be kind and compassionate to yourself as you make self-care a priority in your life. So make time for self-care, experiment with different activities, get support from loved ones, and embrace the journey. Your well-being is worth it!

Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thinking: How to Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Negative thinking can be a difficult habit to break, but it's important to recognize that it's not a permanent state of mind. Negative thoughts can lead to feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and sadness, and can even affect our physical health. But the good news is that by changing our thoughts and attitudes, we can improve our mental and physical well-being.

One of the most effective ways to break the cycle of negative thinking is to challenge negative thoughts when they arise. Negative thoughts can be irrational, and often they are not based on facts. When you notice yourself thinking negatively, try to question the thought and see if there is any evidence to support it. For example, if you're thinking, "I'll never be able to accomplish this task," ask yourself, "Is that really true? Have I been able to accomplish similar tasks in the past?" Often, we'll find that our negative thoughts are not based on reality and can be reframed in a more positive light.

Another powerful way to cultivate a positive mindset is to practice gratitude. Taking time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and towards the positive aspects of your life. This can be as simple as writing down three things you're grateful for each day or taking a few minutes to reflect on the good things that have happened to you.

Engaging in positive self-talk is another important step in cultivating a positive mindset. Be mindful of the language you use when speaking to yourself and try to use positive, encouraging words. Instead of saying "I can't do this," try saying "I can do this" or "I'll figure it out." It may sound small, but positive self-talk can have a big impact on our confidence and motivation.

Surrounding yourself with positive people can also play a big role in our mindset. Seek out positive, supportive relationships and spend time with people who bring out the best in you. Positive people will lift you up and help you see the best in yourself. On the other hand, spending time with negative or critical people can bring you down and make it harder to maintain a positive attitude.

Lastly, taking care of yourself is essential to cultivating a positive mindset. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and getting regular exercise. Taking care of your physical well-being can have a big impact on your mental well-being. When we're tired, stressed, or not feeling well, it can be harder to maintain a positive attitude.

It's also important to note that these strategies take time and practice to see results. Be patient with yourself and keep working on cultivating a positive mindset. Remember that negative thinking is a habit, and like any habit, it can be broken. The more you practice positive thinking, the easier it will become.

In conclusion, negative thinking can be a difficult habit to break, but by challenging negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, engaging in positive self-talk, surrounding ourselves with positive people, and taking care of ourselves, we can cultivate a positive mindset. Remember to be patient with yourself and keep working at it, it will take time and practice to see results. Positive mindset will not only make you feel good, but it will also improve our mental and physical well-being.

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Are you looking to increase your confidence, realign your faith, and create healthy habits that help you transform your life and show up empowered in your everyday life? If so, send me a message, and let’s see if we are a good fit to work together 1:1!

Learning What to Accept and When to Let Go...

Life is a journey full of ups and downs, twists and turns, victories and defeats, and it's easy to get caught up in the turmoil of everyday challenges. From broken relationships to unfulfilled dreams, there are countless obstacles that can weigh us down and make us feel like we're stuck in a rut. However, the path to inner peace lies in the power of acceptance and letting go.

Acceptance is a vital aspect of finding inner peace. It is the act of acknowledging what has happened or what is currently happening in our lives. It doesn't mean that we approve or condone what has happened, but rather that we recognize and acknowledge the situation. By accepting the situation, we can begin to move forward and find peace within ourselves. Acceptance is about letting go of the past and the things that we cannot change, and focusing on the present moment.

Acceptance requires us to be honest with ourselves and others. We must recognize and accept the things that we cannot change and have the courage to make the necessary changes to improve our lives. Acceptance is not about giving up or giving in, but rather about facing reality and taking action to make the most of the situation. It can be a difficult process, but it is essential for our emotional and mental well-being.

Letting go is another crucial aspect of finding inner peace. It means releasing the emotional attachment to a situation or person. It doesn't mean that we forget or ignore what happened, but rather that we allow ourselves to move forward without holding onto negative emotions. When we let go, we free ourselves from the emotional burden and open ourselves up to new possibilities. Letting go means forgiving ourselves and others, and releasing any anger, resentment, or bitterness that we may be holding onto.

The process of acceptance and letting go can be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. It requires us to be vulnerable and to face our emotions head-on. We must be willing to let go of our need for control and allow ourselves to surrender to what is. The process can be slow and gradual, but over time, we will begin to notice a shift in our mindset and a sense of inner peace that was previously unavailable.

Here are some steps you can take to start the process of acceptance and letting go:

• Take the time to recognize how you feel about the situation or person that you are struggling to accept or let go of.

• Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the emotions without judgment.

• Avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Stay in the present moment and focus on what you can control.

• Meditation and other mindfulness practices can help you stay present and focused.

• Talk to a trusted friend or seek professional help if you need support during the process.

• Take time each day to focus on the things that you are grateful for in your life.

• Reflect on how you have handled similar situations in the past, and what worked or didn't work for you. Use this knowledge to inform your approach to acceptance and letting go.

In conclusion, acceptance and letting go are essential components of finding inner peace. By acknowledging our emotions, practicing self-compassion, focusing on the present, seeking support, practicing mindfulness, and reflecting on past experiences, we can begin to let go of the negative emotions that are holding us back. The journey to inner peace may not be easy, but with time and patience, we can find the peace and contentment that we all seek. Ultimately, the path to inner peace lies within ourselves, and it is up to us to take the necessary steps to find it.

Healthy Habits Made Simple.....

Many people believe that weight loss is a painful thing. To shift those stubborn pounds you must go hungry all the time. Many are afraid to even set a weight loss goal because they can’t stand the thought of going hungry and the frustrations that it brings.

For a lot of people it's just better to be overweight than to suffer hunger pangs. 

Well who can blame them? 

If the only way to lose weight or stay slim was to go hungry all the time very few people would be at their ideal weight and the vast majority of the planet would be extremely overweight! It isn’t necessary.

Our body is a marvelous device. It is truly amazing! Its natural rhythm and internal workings tell us when we are hungry. It has a self protection mechanism that lets you know when you need to stock up on fuel. A hunger signal is the body notifying you that you NEED to eat in order for you to sustain a healthy level of energy and have the reserves necessary for healing, repair and maintenance of your cells. Serious hungry pangs are a strong self-preservation signal from the body that it is in danger and needs food immediately to restore it’s balance. These signals should not be ignored!

Your body has no idea that food is in plentiful supply and that it is one of the cheapest commodities of the 21st Century. Your body is acting the same way your ancient ancestor’s bodies worked. The general design of the human body hasn’t changed one bit since then. When your ancient ancestors were living in caves they relied on their ability to hunt for food to feed themselves. Sometimes they would go days or weeks without a kill and the body would send them warning signals that they were in serious danger. When they did eat the body immediately, being still in self-preservation mode, stored as much of the energy as it could in reserve as FAT! Your body works in exactly the same way today.

Starving yourself just doesn’t work. It goes against nature to think that you can starve yourself and lose weight. Of course you can get the exception when people just don’t take in anywhere near enough food to sustain themselves but we all have the effects of this kind of dieting! 

So, we know that starvation diets don’t work and you don’t want to spend 2 hours a day in the gym. How do we lose weight then? Well the good news is you do not have to go hungry to lose weight. Nor do you need excessive amounts of exercise. The truth is, eating regular nutritional meals and allowing your body to fill itself to satisfaction is the key to reaching and maintaining a healthy, slim body. By not allowing yourself to go hungry you will in fact avoid overeating - which is the very thing that usually happens when you break a starvation diet.

One method is to eat five or six, fairly small, healthy meals divided up throughout your day. Instead of eating three large meals at breakfast, lunch and dinner, divide the same quantity of food into 6 meals instead and eat an extra small meal between a small breakfast and lunch, one between lunch and dinner and if you are hungry later have another one. Try to avoid having the last meal close to bedtime, anytime up to 2 hours before bed is all right. 

Don’t wait when you feel hungry. Eat as soon as you can. If you wait for a long period of time before you eat your body will go into panic mode, thinking that you don’t have enough resources to feed it and you will overeat! Therefore, eating frequent yet smaller meals will help to keep your body satisfied and you will be less likely to over-indulge.

Do not miss a meal in the hope that it will help burn some extra calories. You may believe that by skipping a meal you will save some calories or fat intake, but, as you have seen, the opposite tends to happen. In addition, if you go for a long period without a meal you are much more likely to over-indulge when you get fed-up and can‘t take the starvation any more. 

Did you also realize that by skipping meals you are actually slowing down your metabolism? Because your body thinks there is a food shortage it not only stores extra fat but it also slows down the amount of fat it burns. The body’s natural survival instinct is triggered, you put on extra weight and burn fewer calories and fat. As the body burns fat to convert into energy you will find that you become lethargic and tired. Starving yourself just doesn’t work!

In addition to eating smaller more frequent meals you should also teach yourself to eat slower. Place your knife and fork down between every bite and chew for a few seconds longer than normal. It can take us up to twenty 20 minutes to realize that the body is full and completely satisfied. When you eat at a fast pace “stuffing“ food into you before you have time to recognize the “full“ signal your body is sending your brain. When you eat at a slower pace you start to recognize these signals from your body and train yourself to identify them at an earlier stage.

Take an extra 15 minutes extra a day. To some of you this may sound like a lot. But all you have to do is split it up throughout the day. Leave for work with an extra 5 minutes to spare and walk to a bus stop further away from or park the car 5 minutes further away than you usually do. At lunch take a 5 minute stroll or take the stairs instead of the elevator. Walk to the local shop instead of driving. It is easy to complete 15, 30 or even an hours exercise everyday if you split it up like this. And remember don’t starve yourself, it just doesn’t work!

Uncover Your True Potential

Self-discovery is a journey that can be both exciting and challenging. It's the process of understanding who you are, what you believe in, and what you want out of life. It's about uncovering your true potential and living a life that is authentic and meaningful to you. The art of self-discovery is not just about understanding yourself, but also about understanding how you fit into the world around you.

One of the first steps to uncovering your true potential is to develop self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It's about being aware of your strengths and weaknesses, and understanding how they impact your life. By becoming more self-aware, you can begin to identify patterns and habits that may be holding you back, and take steps to change them.

Another important step in the journey of self-discovery is setting goals. Goals give you direction and purpose, and help you focus on what you want to achieve in life. Setting goals for yourself can help you identify your passions and interests, and give you a sense of accomplishment when you achieve them. When setting goals, it's important to make sure they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

To truly uncover your true potential, it's important to take action. It's one thing to set goals and have aspirations, but it's another to take the necessary steps to achieve them. This means being disciplined and motivated, and taking the time to work towards your goals every day. It also means being willing to take risks and step out of your comfort zone, as this is often where true growth and development occur.

Another important aspect of self-discovery is self-reflection. Self-reflection is the process of taking time to think about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and how they have shaped you. It's about understanding your past and how it has influenced your present. By reflecting on your experiences, you can gain a better understanding of yourself, and identify patterns and behaviors that may be holding you back.

In addition to self-reflection, journaling can also be a valuable tool in the journey of self-discovery. Journaling allows you to process your thoughts and feelings, and can also serve as a record of your progress. It's a great way to track your goals, and to reflect on your experiences and what you have learned from them.

In addition to all of the above, self-discovery also involves learning to love and accept yourself. It's about understanding that you are worthy and deserving of love and happiness, and that you have the power to create the life you want. It's about embracing your flaws and imperfections, and learning to see the beauty in them.

Self-discovery is a lifelong journey that requires patience, perseverance, and an open mind. It's not always easy, and there will be times when you feel lost or uncertain. But with the right mindset and approach, you can uncover your true potential and live a life that is authentic and meaningful to you.

In conclusion, the art of self-discovery is a journey of understanding yourself, your values and beliefs, and what you want to achieve in life. It requires you to develop self-awareness, set goals, take action, reflect on your experiences and thoughts, journal, and most importantly to love and accept yourself. Remember that self-discovery is a lifelong journey, so be patient and stay committed to it, eventually you will uncover your true potential.

Breaking Through Barriers to Reach Your Goals!

Have you ever had a big goal that you were so excited to accomplish and then you just gave up on it?

One of the reasons we do not face our goals is because when we are faced with an unexpected barrier that we're unsure how to deal with, we shut down. We become discouraged, we start making excuses, and we allow ourselves to back off of our original plan. While this is a human and natural tendency, it's not conducive to success.

God places these big goals in our spirit because He knows that we can accomplish them. He knows that we have the tools within us to succeed, but we have to be willing to go through all of the obstacles and stay the course in order to get there.

An important step that you can take to avoid this barrier blunder is that of carefully planning your goal to include backup plans for all those little "what ifs” and get into spiritual alignment with God.

"What if I don't pass the prerequisite course?"

"What if I don't get the loan?"

"What if I run out of time?"

"What if the marketing doesn't work?"

"What if I just don't feel like it?"

These are all very real barriers that keep us from realizing our life dreams. By planning for them, we greatly improve our chances of succeeding and experience the power of being unstoppable.

What kind of barriers can you preplan?

1. Internal Barriers

Internal barriers include the thoughts you have about your goal, success, and yourself that keep you from being successful. They include your personal fears, motivation, self-esteem, and paradigms.

"What if I just don't feel like doing my assignment?"

Solution - commit to working on it for at least 15 minutes. Then take a break and come back to it later

"What if my fear of the phone keeps me from following through on my marketing campaign?"

Solution - have a friend help me make phone calls. It might not be so bad if I'm not alone.

"What if I find myself procrastinating?"

Solution - ask a friend to call me every day to remind me to spend a little time on my goal. Work on my goal first thing in the morning to get it done and over with.

1. External Barriers

External barriers include barriers such as money, time, other people's reactions, resources, and results. We are not in direct control of them, but we can affect how they work and we can still plan around them.

"What if the client turns down my proposal?"

Solution - ask questions to find out why, and resubmit it.

"What if I forget the worksheets?"

Solution - Scan a copy of it to your email and then find a printer to get new copies made.

"What if I can’t find anything healthy on the menu?"

Solution - look at the restaurant menu ahead of time and find items that fit your way of eating.

When you find yourself faced with internal or external barriers, remember that these things are all a part of a bigger plan. Don’t let them throw you off track. It is in those moments that you should pray, reach out for support, be open to talking through what the barrier is with someone you trust and maybe they can help with ideas to overcome them. 

Don’t let the barriers in life stop you from truly stepping into alignment with who you are and all that you are meant to be.

Practice this technique with even your small, short-term goals. It feels great to know that when a brick wall appears in your path, you have the perfect solution for getting around it and getting back on the road to achievement!

Perfection?!?.....What is that?

Have you ever just looked at yourself in the mirror, or caught a glimpse of yourself as you are walking past a glass door and immediately saw all of the things that are “wrong” with you? Tragic, right? I have been doing that to myself every day for weeks now! Poor me!! It sounds ridiculous to be so cruel…..to myself, but I know many people that have been there. Even as I am typing this, I am so disappointed that this has become a big enough part of my life that I am blogging about it, but why not? I know I am not the only one that notices the flaws that they have. I know I am not the only person that wishes they could go to sleep with flab and wake up with abs (you see what I did there, rightJ). But why is that the only thing that I strive for? In my case, it is not. I don’t simply want a “perfect” body, because that is so subjective and I will never be “perfect” for everyone. I just simply want to be “perfect” for me. That part is not my issue. My issue is trusting the process.

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As many of you know, I have PCOS and losing weight is a TASK! I smell bread and cookies and gain 5lbs immediately. Not really, but you get what I am saying. So in order to lose weight, I have one thing that I know in the past has given me great results and that is keto. I did it after I had my son and when I tell you I felt the best I have ever felt in my life, I am not exaggerating! I was walking around in a sports bra and leggings for no real reason, but I felt good about myself. Yes, I had loose skin. Yes, I had stretch marks, but I was happy. I lost weight pretty quickly that time around. I lost 70lbs in about 9 months and I was loving it. So, why am I back at this point again, because I got pregnant with my daughter 2 months later and gained weight again. I have absolutely no problem with that, but I knew that mentally losing this weight would be a struggle. Not because I don’t want to lose it, but because it is HARD!

I have never been one to have a ton of self-confidence. Let’s be honest, I was always the chubby one in the group, but I knew that I wanted to be healthy. After my son, I knew that I wanted to feel better about myself so that I could be better for him and I did just that. Now I am on what seems like the same journey, but this time there have been a few rough patches. I mean, life happens whether I am 300lbs or 100lbs and you have to get through it. This time though, life has been hitting me hard and that weighs heavily on my mind. All of that negativity is then internalized and I mentally beat myself up over the thing that bothers me the most: my weight. I struggle with people telling me, “oh, you’re not that big” or my favorite, “you should be happy where you are”. Why though? No one has to live my life but me and I have two small children that I have to live for, but I digress.

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Tuesday morning, I woke up and stepped on my scale and it was the exact same number that it was about a week ago when I weighed in with my trainer. Before we get too far, let me catch you all up. This time around on my journey, I am working out during my weight loss to try and minimize all of the loose skin that I had the last time. I work out with her 2 or 3 days a week and then I work out on my own the other two days. I didn’t start working out the last time until I was about 6 months in to my weight loss journey. A couple of Fridays ago, I weighed in with her and I was down almost 5lbs in a little over 2 weeks and had lost an inch or so off of my waist and chest. I was ecstatic and extremely motivated. Fast-forward to Tuesday and it felt like I hit a brick wall going 1,000mph with no brakes. I was crushed. I looked in the mirror and immediately started ripping myself to shreds.

I was pointing out all of the areas that were imperfect and I kind of wanted to quit, but instead of giving up, I decided to take some pictures instead. I needed to see myself through a different lens, if you will. I am so glad I did. Luckily, I had taken before photos on the morning of my first session with her, so I had something to compare it to. Looking at those pictures made me realize that I was looking at the entire situation incorrectly. I was expecting perfection when I should have simply been applauding myself for the progress that I made. Many times, we get so caught up with getting to the end of something that we forget to celebrate all of the small accomplishments along the way.

This can be applied to so many of the things that we do in life. Whether it is weight loss, school, your job or whatever it is, forget about perfection and focus on progress. I needed to see these pictures of myself to realize that where I currently am is perfect in the sense that I am still moving forward and still doing the very best that I can. Am I where I want to be at the end of my journey? Absolutely not, but am I exactly where I need to be right now. YEP! That is what matters. As long as you are taking the steps and putting the work in to get to where you want to go, you are doing exactly what you should be doing. Will there be bumps in the road? Of course, but that is why it is a journey. No matter where you are in journey, or what you are trying to accomplish, set small goals for yourself and celebrate the heck out of them when you reach them. And when you see yourself in that mirror, point out how amazing you are at staying focused and getting to where you want to be :-).

Keto Better than the Hut Cheese Sticks

If you are like me and really enjoy cheese sticks, my favorite by far are from Pizza Hut, then this recipe will definitely hit the spot for you. At its base, it is simply a variation of fathead dough, but it becomes so much more than that. It is a delicious cheesy keto treat that reminds me of the crunchy, cheesy, Pizza Hut cheese sticks that I once loved. I hope that you all love these as much as I do 😊

If you have never made a fathead dough, I will be the one to tell you that it is an AMAZING base recipe. It can be used for a pizza crust, a calzone, a keto cheese crisp, or even sweetened to be a base for some sweet treats. I will be posting more recipes that showcase just how versatile this dough is but let’s get going on the star of this recipe, the Keto Cheesestick!

 Ingredients:

6 oz (3/4 cup) of shredded mozzarella cheese (I use Kraft because it is a low moisture cheese)

1 egg

3/8 cup of Superfine Almond Flour (I use Bob’s Red Mill)

1 tsp of baking powder (I use Clabber Girl)

1/3 cup of parmesan cheese (I use Kraft shredded)

Instructions:

1.       Preheat the over to 350

2.       Measure out 6 oz of your shredded mozzarella cheese in a microwave safe bowl. I use a small kitchen scale. If you don’t have a scale, 6 oz is ¾ cup.

3.       In a separate bowl, mix the almond flour, baking powder and parmesan cheese until it is well combined.

4.       Place your mozzarella cheese in the microwave and microwave for 30 seconds, remove from the microwave and stir. You want to do this until the cheese is completely melted. In my microwave, I have to do this a total of 2 times. Depending on your microwave, it may take you more or less time to completely melt your cheese. **Note: watch your cheese very closely. Melting it to fast can cause the cheese to crisp and brown around the edges.**

5.       Add your egg to the mixture and stir until it is completely combined with the cheese. I normally start with a fork and then when it is mostly combined, I switch to a wooden spoon.

6.       Once the egg is incorporated, add the mixture of almond flour, baking powder and parmesan cheese to the mozzarella and egg mixture.

7.       Stir this together until combined. **If you are having trouble mixing it with your spoon, knead the dough by hand until completely combined.**

8.       Once it is combined, place the dough between two pieces of parchment paper and roll out until it is your desired thickness. **I make it about the thickness of a pizza crust. The thinner that you roll it, the crunchier it will become**

9.       Take a fork and poke the top of the dough all over to ensure that it does not rise too much.

10.   Place the dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and bake for 10 to 15 minutes (or longer depending on how crunchy you want your cheese sticks). I keep an eye on mine beginning at the 10 minute mark and check them every minute or two to see when they are as brown as I would like them.

11.   Remove them from the oven. Let them cool a bit and then slice them in long strips to resemble cheese sticks.

12.   ENJOY! I usually dip them in a low carb marinara or ranch dressing. Both are equally delicious.

**Nutritional information is per 2 cheese sticks and is specific to the brands that I mentioned above**

Keto...just do it

I often get asked, how did you start keto? I can’t really say that there was some elaborate plan, I kind of just started. I know that reading all of the information that is available on the internet can be a bit confusing and overwhelming. Keto is not a one-size fits all type of lifestyle change. How are you supposed to know, total carbs versus net carbs, how to calculate your macros, if you should do intermittent fasting or count your calories? It is intense. Having been in your shoes at one point, I know that it can be so overwhelming that it may actually change your mind about starting, but don’t let it deter you.

A ketogenic lifestyle is one of the easiest that I have ever followed. I didn’t have to buy any fancy products. I didn’t have to significantly adjust anything that I was doing on a daily basis, I just had to eat food. Now yes, the food that I was eating changed slightly, but the fact that I could eat and lose weight was the best thing that could have happened to me and I want to help simplify this for all of you as well. The keto lifestyle, when done properly, is a lifestyle that burns fat to provide you sustainable energy. Instead of loading your body up on carbohydrates and added sugars, your body will take all of the foods that you are eating and give you clean healthy energy by putting your body into a fat burning mode.

What do you eat?

For the most part, the keto lifestyle is all about eating high fat, moderate protein and low carb. I have found great success with a 75-20-5 model. My main goal is to not consume more than 20g of net carbs per day. This is where the debate comes in. You will find that some people that say that you should be counting total carbs and others will say net carbs. I am a firm believer in listening to your body and doing what works the best for your body. If you plan to count net carbs, you would look at the nutrition label, make note of the serving size and based on that, you would calculate: Carbohydrates – Dietary Fiber. This will give you the net carbs for the product.

Majority, if not all of your carbs will come from vegetables. I like to keep it simple and stick to the basics. I eat a lot of romaine lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower and zucchini. Each of these vegetables has a pretty low carb count. I allow myself to have fruit a couple of times a week or more if I really want them, but I stick to berries since they are the lowest in carbs.

I'll be doing a keto for beginners series for the month of May as I kick off my 30 days of keto program. If you want a free sample meal plan, subscribe to receive emails down at the bottom of the page. If you want to take part in the 30 days of keto with me, just follow me on Instagram.. I will post more info and a few graphics there. If you want to start keto, but don't know where to begin and would like a coach who has been where you are, fill out the information request on tube work with me page and we can get started right away! I can't wait to see your results in 30 days :-)

My weightloss before I got pregnant with my daughter. I was only doing keto during this time.

Don't be a passenger

Have you ever just had one of those days where you can literally feel the weight of the world on your shoulders? Well, my day has become months. As I was traveling to NC yesterday, I had nothing but time to think. I mean between the breakdowns, snack requests and bathroom stops, I had time to really just sit and think about life. I have a love/hate relationship with freetime. Maybe hate is a really harsh word, but I guess it would more of a love/dislike relationship. Whenever I have freetime, my brain tends to think that is the best time to make a rapid fire slideshow of everything that has happened in my life over the last 30 years. Talk about overwhelming, right?
On this trip though, I only got the last 5 years in rapid playback and I felt like I was an outsider that was just watching a movie. Some of the things that I was seeing I didn't even remember living through and that made me sad. I realized that I had been an outsider in my own life! Who does that?? Me apparently.
As I thought about this more, I found out that there was a pattern. Anytime that there was a stressful, angering, or traumatic event, I basically just cruised through the days, weeks, and months after that. I was clearly living my life, but I wasn't taking part in my own life. I was carrying the stress, anger, sadness and fear from day to day and it was altering my view of my life. I need to know how to fix this! I know that I can't go back and relive the past two years, even though I would like to. I can only make a change moving forward.
But what can I do? I'm going to experience things that stress, upset, anger and sadden me, but how do I stop that from influencing all of the moments after that? I've got to let those moments be just that, moments. I can't dwell in that negative space. I have to be okay with living in that moment and then moving forward. I don't want to simply go through life. I want to be present and truly live each moment of my life. The only way to do that is to stop allowing negative emotions to drive my life. Doing that is like going through life with colored shades on. You can never truly enjoy or experience what you are looking at until you take the shades off.
From this moment on, I won't allow a bad moment to ruin my day or week. Just take a deep breath in and release!


XOXO

Protect your peace

I often get asked why I don’t socialize with many people. I don’t find it odd or different, it is simply who I am. As a child, I moved around A LOT! My dad was active duty Army, so every few years we moved. I have and probably always will be shy and a bit socially awkward just because it is literally who I am. I tend to shy away from getting really close to people really fast. I take time and watch them interact with others. I was this way as a child. My mom loves to tell this story of me in Kindergarten, while in Germany, she would come to pick me up every day and I would be hanging out with the teacher instead of having free play time with the other children in my class. She finds the story extremely funny because she paid for me to go to school for the purpose of learning to socialize with other children, but that is the exact opposite of what I had in mind.

I carried that with me through all of my childhood and into adulthood. I am that person that smiles when you say hello and I try not to engage in a lot of personal conversation until I have multiple “surface level” conversations and feel like I have a good handle on who you are as a person. And even then, I won’t divulge my deepest darkest secrets. Although, people tend to want to share their entire life story with me pretty quickly. I have been told that I have a very friendly face. Thank you, I think… Anyway, the reason that I am not looking to change the way that I interact with and develop new friendships is because this way, I am able to protect my peace. Let me explain what I mean by that. If I were out here just becoming friends with everyone, I would be guaranteed to eventually have to deal with someone else’s negative attitude and drama constantly. I am not saying that the few friends I have right now don’t go through things, but we are all close enough to understand ourselves and each other and we don’t try to bring each other down.

We know what to expect from each other and we tend to try and uplift each other as much as possible. This helps me protect the peace that I like to have in my life. I know if one of them calls me with an issue, they need me in that moment, but they don’t project their emotions onto me. I listen and empathize and also sympathize with them in most cases and then they plot a path forward and we don’t disrupt each other’s peace. These relationships have been cultivated for years and I have a hard time allowing others into the space that I have because I don’t want to upset that balance that I have found. I guess that it is also a fear of the unknown in some ways as well. Some people are so good at pretending, that they have themselves fooled about who they really are as well. I also use the word friend in very different ways. I have some “friends” that are actually more like family and that is my innermost circle. They are the people that I can speak with freely and they can do the same with me. I also have just friends. These are people that I will talk to, but not share everything with and I tend not to get closer to them and then I have very few people that I just associate with if necessary. These are people that I am not sure if I can trust, but I don’t want to push them away because they haven’t given me a reason to, I just haven’t gotten a good sense of who they are a person.

In my 30 years of life, I have been hurt more times than I can even count, so the combination of that and my overall shy personality, I truly try not to let anyone in to my life that I feel will negatively impact the peaceful space that I have created. You just never know what some peoples intentions are and while I try to keep an open mind and “hunt the good stuff” in everyone that I meet, I have a very discerning spirit and I can often tell a lot about a person in the first few interactions that I have with them. Your peace should always be your number one concern. Think about it this way, if you knew that someone wanted to steal from you, would you let them into your house? No, right? So why would you let them into your life at all? I have worked really hard to gain inner peace, and now with children, it is even more important for me that I maintain that, so I refuse to allow an outsider ruin that. I have learned that there is very little that I can control on a day to day basis, but I know that I can control how I interact with others and what I am putting into the universe and what I allow in my little universe. The world tends to focus on negativity and a constant negative headspace can leave you upset and bitter, so I try to focus on the good things and with that, it means that I don’t allow strangers to invade my peace of mind. It has allowed me to become extremely close to the people that I do have in my life and it gives me the ability to control my own outlook without being tainted by the intentions of others. In every interaction, remember to protect you peace.

Can I have a little bit of grace?

Every day, I find myself questioning whether or not I am good at enough at any of the things that are currently my responsibility. I question whether I am doing all of the right things as a mom, a wife, a student, an employee, etc.. This morning around 0330, it dawned on me that I don’t have to be perfect at everything. There has only ever been one perfect person, and He understands and loves my imperfections. So why have I been beating myself up about them? As a mom, I think that it is hard for me to be okay with making a mistake. I mean, I have been given the responsibility of shaping my son and daughter into the people that they will be for the rest of their lives. That is a huge responsibility.

I want them to be wonderful human beings and I know that my influence will help shape that, but I also know that everyone makes mistakes. It is inevitable. Parenthood does not come with a step by step manual that you can follow day by day to make sure that you are hitting every single point perfectly. That is unrealistic and could you imagine how long that would take someone to actually come up with that? And who has the authority to actually say what the right and wrong way to parent would be? It is so disheartening when I am on social media and I see women bashing other women about the way that they are parenting their children. Unless someone is abusing or neglecting their child, I don’t think anyone has the right to say that what one person is doing is wrong. It is probably what works best for their life and we have no right to judge that.

I am a strong believer in the saying that you can’t tell me how to live my life unless you have first walked a mile in my shoes. Until you know exactly what someone is dealing with, you will never be the expert on what they should or should not be doing with their children, their marriage, their career or any other aspect of life. I find it extremely difficult to believe that I am doing every single thing in my life 100% well every single day, but I have learned to give myself a little bit of grace. I looked at a pile of clothes that I knew needed to be folded last night and I opted to read my kids two more bedtime stories instead. Normally, I would have stayed up really late folding the clothes, but I had other things that I needed to do and I will fold the clothes. There won’t be any war on laundry happening in the next few hours, so I am sure it will be fine.

I am taking this approach with every aspect of my life. I am going to prioritize the things that matter and make sure that I am accomplishing those to the best of my abilities instead of trying to do everything all at once. This approach makes the planner in me a little bit nervous, but I know that in order to be good at anything, I have to be great emotionally, mentally and physically and I know that being stressed out and exhausted about everything was actually accomplishing nothing. So, I am prepared to tackle today and I will be okay with leaving a few things undone as long as I know that the things I did complete were done to the best of my abilities. Isn’t that what life is about anyway?

Did you just body check me?

Yesterday on my lunchbreak, I decided to go to DSW and see what was new in the world of shoes. DSW is one of my happy places and after the day that I had yesterday, I needed to just go somewhere quiet, look at pretty things and relax. I had a full blown concert in my car on the way there. I am talking full out singing and choreography and I did not care who saw me. I did make a mental note to get my front windows tinted a little darker though. Anyway, I was feeling pretty great by the time that I got there.

As I am walking up, there is a mother and daughter walking up at the exact same time. It was that awkward meet at the door type of timing when you don’t actually know who should open the door, so everyone tries to go for it and then you spend a couple of milliseconds going, “you go. No you go. No really, you go.” I opened the door for them and let them walk in a head of me. The young girl says, oh thank you so much. The mom (I am assuming), says nothing, but instead proceeds to give me the up, down, up body scan. I have dubbed this the “body check”, thanks to multiple binge sessions watching Drop Dead Diva. Just to clarify, this isn’t like the hockey body check where we rammed our bodies into one another, but that is kind of what it feels like emotionally and mentally.

I was a little taken aback by this. Not because it is the first time that I have ever been body checked, but because she was so blatantly obvious when she did it. Other people do it as you walk by or while your back is to them. I guess that is the socially “appropriate” way to body check someone. I knew that she was aware that I had seen her because when she made it back up to my face, I just smiled, nodded and said “oh my gosh. I love your shoes”. She seemed startled by my response. I am not quite sure what she expected me to do, but I was not going to let her ruin my mood.

This interaction did make me think though. Why are women so fixated on what another woman’s body looks like? Like who cares? It is there body and unless you are my doctor, I don’t think it is necessary for you to give me any type of once over. Women are so hard on each other when it comes to passing judgement that it is one of the very reasons that I don’t have very many female friends. I don’t have time for the judgement or drama. I have never seen a group of men looking each other up and down, unless they are planning to fight.

So why as women are we so hard on each other? Why are we not uplifting and encouraging each other? I don’t think this lady was trying to spark some deep internal thought within me, and I don’t even know if she was trying to be malicious, but a few months ago, it probably would have bruised my self-esteem to have her look at me that way. Now, I realize that when people are nasty to you, it is a reflection of who they are and how they feel about themselves. It is not a reflection of who you are as a person. I still enjoyed my time in DSW and her daughter even asked my opinion on a pair of shoes that she was looking at.

In your interactions with others, just remember that you have no idea what they are going through in life. My parents always told me that our tongues have the power of speaking life or death into a person, so choose your words and actions wisely. I did great and did not buy any shoes yesterday, but I did pick out the pair that I am going to reward myself with when I reach my next goal. I am only 5.6lbs away from it, so stay tuned.

Living the keto life

I get asked quite often why I chose to do keto. The answer is pretty simple: it works! I originally started keto because I had tried every other diet that I could possibly try and they did not work. I have been overweight for most of my life. Growing up, I was always bigger than my sister. After I turned 10, it seemed like I could just look at food and gain weight. I also started my period really early. Now that I am older and have been to a few really great doctors, I am aware that it was probably a result of my polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).

After being diagnosed with severe PCOS when I was 21, I made it my mission to try and lose weight. My doctor said that would help with a lot of my symptoms. I was in the Army at that point and was the smallest I had ever been in life, but I was determined to lose more weight, so I did it in a very unhealthy way. I was basically working out really hard and starving myself. It was not a great plan and once I was hurt and could not work out as much as I was before, I had to eat even less in order to maintain my weight loss. I became one very hangry person.

After about 2 months of weight loss, I went back to the doctor only to find out that I had more cysts than before. This was because I was not giving my body the foods that it needed to even begin the healing process, but I had no clue where to even start. I was then put on very high dosage of metformin and birth control to help somewhat regulate my cycles. That was awesome until I wanted to try to have kids. It had done nothing to actually assist in correcting my fertility issues. Now granted, I was not in a place to be having kids right then, so I did not ask any questions at the time. However, when my husband and I decided we wanted to start trying, I kicked myself for not being more inquisitive when I was first diagnosed. I will make a different post about that struggle at another time.

Fast forward four years, I had gotten out of the military, I was depressed and had just moved to a new state where I did not know anyone but my husband. I gained so much weight and I was unhappy with myself, so I knew that I needed to do something about it. Insert the keto diet here! It was simple and I got to eat real food. I was all for it. In the beginning, it was harder for me because my husband was here and I felt like I had to cook two meals. He is much more in shape than I am and he can eat basically anything and gain no weight.
I was on and off keto for months. He then had to go to school. I decided that while he was gone, I was going to get into a good rhythm that I could still keep up with while he was here. He was gone for 3 months and in that time I lost about 35lbs! I was ecstatic. Of course, this was new to me still and I thought oh well having a dessert here and there won’t kill me. Well a dessert here and there turned into me realizing I had a binge eating problem. Food has always been something that I control with my emotions and I can go from one extreme to the other, I either eat everything or nothing depending on my mood. I fell off of the keto wagon for about 8-months. I then decided that I wanted to try again and this time really stick to it. I did and I lost 40lbs. Around this time, we decided that we wanted to try again for our first child.

I did not really think it would happen for us at all, but I wanted to try. After two cycles, I was pregnant. This was amazing for me. I did not continue with keto while I was pregnant because I did not think that I could. Looking back, I wish that I had. About 2 years after having my son, I decided to do keto again. I lost about 80lbs from March through December 2017 and I had no plans of reverting back to my old ways. Well, in February 2018, I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter. It was the biggest shock of my life.

The one thing that I love about keto is that anyone can do it. You don’t have to buy a bunch of random things in order to make this work. You just have to eat food. Now, your mindset about food has to change. The Standard American Diet (SAD) is so common and thought to be the best thing for us, but the portions that we see as normal are not. I love the way that I feel and look on the keto diet, so I actually decided to learn how it works. I got my ketogenic living certification and I have enjoyed helping other lose weight and keep it off. I am basically starting all over because of the weight that I gained with my daughter, but I have set small goals for myself and I can’t wait to see how my body transforms this time.

One Small Step

I have been dreading writing about anything remotely close to my fitness goals these past few weeks and then I thought, why? I have nothing to hide and I should not be ashamed of where I am right now. My body grew a tiny human last year and I am working on it. During my pregnancy, I gained weight. Duh, right! It took me 9-months to gain the weight and I have been beating myself up the past 5 months because my body didn’t simply snapback to before. I just recently realized how ridiculous I was being, so I decided to set small goals for myself.

“There is always a step small enough from where we are to get us to where we want to be. If we take that small step, there’s always another we can take, and eventually a goal thought to be too far to reach becomes achievable”

— Ellen Langer

Instead of looking at my end goal, I have determined a series of small goals that are much less daunting. I mean seriously, losing 10 lbs seems much more doable than losing 40! That just means I have to lose 10lbs 4 times. See how manageable that sounds. Plus, I have decided to reward myself each time I meet one of my goals.

Once I thought that plan through, I actually made myself a reward chart. I mean let’s be honest, we all like to get our little gold stars when we accomplish something. It pleases the toddler inside of me. I know feel like I am ready to actually get to where I want to be. With two kids and working full-time, I have to actually make time to go to the gym. I have been making excuses the past few weeks, so I have not been going as much as I was before, but I think that I have found my drive again.

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one”

— Mark Twain

I want to wear a two piece bathing suit for the first time in my life! It may not happen in time for this summer, but I know that I will at least make my goal of wearing a cute tankini or high-waisted suit this year. I will be posting update pictures as well as pictures of my rewards on my Instagram, so go follow me there for weekly updates!

I am trying out a pescatarian keto lifestyle, so if you want to join me on my weight loss journey or if you aren’t sure how to get started either fill out the contact form on this page or DM me on Instagram and let’s reach these goals together!

Hey Google, what’s my purpose?

Since I retired from the Army in 2014, I feel like I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to find where I belong. When I was serving on active duty, I felt like I knew my why. I had a plan for life. I enjoyed getting up and going to work because I knew that each day that I put in the work, I was one step closer to my ultimate goal of being a warrant officer in my field. I was actually in the process of applying for an assignment that would give me a leg up on my competition, when life hit me like a brick wall!

I was thrown so far off of what I thought my purpose was that in the past five years, I have spent countless hours trying to simply recalibrate my life. I was given only one option and it wasn’t really an option, it was a mandate. I was getting retired. I was broken and could not be fixed. These were the words spoken to me by my doctor as I set in his office trying to convince him to reverse his recommendation. He told me, “Sgt. Lyons, your unit is not looking out for you. Constantly breaking your profile and trying to be a 100% soldier is going to have you crippled and bound to a wheelchair by the age of thirty and by the time that you get to that point, the Army is going to force you out. But I want to give you a chance to have a better quality of life”. His statement shook me to my core. Being wheelchair bound was not part of my plan, so I sucked it up and went through the process.

Fast forward five years, and my life has changed tremendously. I have two amazing kids, I have a full-time job, and I am almost at the end of my degree. A lot of people would say it seems like you have found your purpose, but I disagree. Yes, I am a mom, but that is not all that I am meant to be. I give my kids 100% of me and I am raising them to be healthy members of society, but if I attach my entire identity to being a mom, I am not fulfilling my own personal purpose. I am not saying that having children doesn’t give me drive or fulfill my life, but I am saying that they give me the drive to be the best me that I can be and that pushes me to want to do more.

I am very grateful for my job, and not to sound cocky, I am really good at my job. It gives me a reason to leave my house every day and when given the opportunity, I can accomplish quite a bit. The kicker is, I am helping achieve someone else’s purpose. I enjoy what I am doing, but I am not driven or challenged in the way that I was in the Army. I don’t feel like there are many things that I can strive to be in this job other than being the best I can be in my current position. It’s like there is an invisible glass ceiling and I can’t go any further than where I currently am. So what do I do?

The past few months I have thought about this more than a few times. I have made lists and even lists about those lists. Clearly, I just enjoy making lists. But, I have not figured out where I need to be or even what I am supposed to be doing. I have not had my “aha” moment where an idea just lights a fire in my soul. Wouldn’t it be nice if we just had an internal google assistant that could search our entire life and tell us our purpose? It would be great if the day we decide we want to start fulfilling our purpose, we could simply say, “hey Google, what’s my purpose?” and the little voice responded, “Tameka (or your name), your purpose is ______”. Since I don’t have that option right now, and I don’t believe it will come to fruition in the foreseeable future, I am going to take the time that I have now and invest in myself and the things that I am passionate about. Devoting more time working on the things that bring me joy will give me a chance to see if one of my passions doubles as my purpose. I can’t say that something that I currently do on the side won’t turn out to be the thing that gives me back my drive, but I also can’t say that it will. I am opening myself up to new opportunities and new ideas. I know what it feels like to have drive and a passion to get up every morning and work towards a goal, I just have to be more intentional about it now. I lost that drive for a long time because I wanted to be in the Army, but now I get a chance to find and do something even greater and I won’t simply let it pass me by because plan A didn’t work out for my life. That ended up being my plan and not God’s plan. When it is my time to go out and conquer the world, I know that I will be given that drive and passion and nothing will stop me. For now I will keep working on me and giving myself the opportunity to find fulfillment in what God has given me right now.

Life is just a series of weekends….

As I sit here writing this blog and watching my children sleep, I realized how many moments pass because I am so focused on the next day or activity. This week, I have found myself wishing it was the weekend. Trying to remember the details of what happened on Monday and Tuesday and realizing that I can’t! Partially because I suffer from mom brain and because I willed those days to go by so quickly because I have been in such a rush to get to Friday.

But, why? Why are my days and moments sped up just to get to another day? Why can’t I be present in the moments that I have right now? Big questions for 1 am, but here we are. Or here I am rather. My baby girl will be six months this month (insert actual tears here). Every day I say, “man time is flying by” or “why are you growing so fast”. Well duh, right? If I pray for every day to go by quickly just so I can get to the end of the week, of course she will be growing really quickly too! It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to put those pieces together. In my haste to be done with my work week, I am missing important moments in other aspects of my life!

Now I just want to slow down! I want to go backwards and catch every moment that I have missed in each area of my life. Talk about sensory overload! I know, it is impossible, but just really take a moment to think about that. What if you could go back to those stressful days that you wished would just hurry up and end already and just take advantage of every moment? Instead of rushing the day past, why not take a few minutes in that day and do some self-reflection or advancement? Listen to a podcast on making each moment count, think about a way to make yourself better in those moments instead of rushing them!

This is exactly what I need to do. From today forward, I refuse to be in a hurry to get to the next day. I am going to live in the present and not be so concerned about the next day. I want to make all of my time every single day count. It sounds sort of like a fairy tale. Cue the cute life is all butterflies and rainbows music, give me a beautiful dress, nice backdrop and of course some cute animal that sings with me and knows all of the moves to my little musical number. But why can’t it be that way? Why can’t we just take a second to be amazed at the fact that we get 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? That means that we have 10,080 minutes each week to take advantage of!

Take advantage of each one. Trust me, I get it. Sometimes work, school, or parenting can be challenging, but even those moments are worth it. If every day you danced in daisies and hid behind waterfalls, you would never truly be able to appreciate the moments that go well. Unless your job is to do those things and if so, just know how jealous I am of you. But, we can all look for those daisy dancing moments and take advantage of them. When you’re constantly rushing time, you miss those moments and so many more. Today, I am going to take a few deep breaths and just make these moments count. I mean, I am already down 2,880, so I need to make the most out of the rest of them!