Learning What to Accept and When to Let Go...

Life is a journey full of ups and downs, twists and turns, victories and defeats, and it's easy to get caught up in the turmoil of everyday challenges. From broken relationships to unfulfilled dreams, there are countless obstacles that can weigh us down and make us feel like we're stuck in a rut. However, the path to inner peace lies in the power of acceptance and letting go.

Acceptance is a vital aspect of finding inner peace. It is the act of acknowledging what has happened or what is currently happening in our lives. It doesn't mean that we approve or condone what has happened, but rather that we recognize and acknowledge the situation. By accepting the situation, we can begin to move forward and find peace within ourselves. Acceptance is about letting go of the past and the things that we cannot change, and focusing on the present moment.

Acceptance requires us to be honest with ourselves and others. We must recognize and accept the things that we cannot change and have the courage to make the necessary changes to improve our lives. Acceptance is not about giving up or giving in, but rather about facing reality and taking action to make the most of the situation. It can be a difficult process, but it is essential for our emotional and mental well-being.

Letting go is another crucial aspect of finding inner peace. It means releasing the emotional attachment to a situation or person. It doesn't mean that we forget or ignore what happened, but rather that we allow ourselves to move forward without holding onto negative emotions. When we let go, we free ourselves from the emotional burden and open ourselves up to new possibilities. Letting go means forgiving ourselves and others, and releasing any anger, resentment, or bitterness that we may be holding onto.

The process of acceptance and letting go can be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. It requires us to be vulnerable and to face our emotions head-on. We must be willing to let go of our need for control and allow ourselves to surrender to what is. The process can be slow and gradual, but over time, we will begin to notice a shift in our mindset and a sense of inner peace that was previously unavailable.

Here are some steps you can take to start the process of acceptance and letting go:

• Take the time to recognize how you feel about the situation or person that you are struggling to accept or let go of.

• Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the emotions without judgment.

• Avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Stay in the present moment and focus on what you can control.

• Meditation and other mindfulness practices can help you stay present and focused.

• Talk to a trusted friend or seek professional help if you need support during the process.

• Take time each day to focus on the things that you are grateful for in your life.

• Reflect on how you have handled similar situations in the past, and what worked or didn't work for you. Use this knowledge to inform your approach to acceptance and letting go.

In conclusion, acceptance and letting go are essential components of finding inner peace. By acknowledging our emotions, practicing self-compassion, focusing on the present, seeking support, practicing mindfulness, and reflecting on past experiences, we can begin to let go of the negative emotions that are holding us back. The journey to inner peace may not be easy, but with time and patience, we can find the peace and contentment that we all seek. Ultimately, the path to inner peace lies within ourselves, and it is up to us to take the necessary steps to find it.

Uncover Your True Potential

Self-discovery is a journey that can be both exciting and challenging. It's the process of understanding who you are, what you believe in, and what you want out of life. It's about uncovering your true potential and living a life that is authentic and meaningful to you. The art of self-discovery is not just about understanding yourself, but also about understanding how you fit into the world around you.

One of the first steps to uncovering your true potential is to develop self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It's about being aware of your strengths and weaknesses, and understanding how they impact your life. By becoming more self-aware, you can begin to identify patterns and habits that may be holding you back, and take steps to change them.

Another important step in the journey of self-discovery is setting goals. Goals give you direction and purpose, and help you focus on what you want to achieve in life. Setting goals for yourself can help you identify your passions and interests, and give you a sense of accomplishment when you achieve them. When setting goals, it's important to make sure they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

To truly uncover your true potential, it's important to take action. It's one thing to set goals and have aspirations, but it's another to take the necessary steps to achieve them. This means being disciplined and motivated, and taking the time to work towards your goals every day. It also means being willing to take risks and step out of your comfort zone, as this is often where true growth and development occur.

Another important aspect of self-discovery is self-reflection. Self-reflection is the process of taking time to think about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and how they have shaped you. It's about understanding your past and how it has influenced your present. By reflecting on your experiences, you can gain a better understanding of yourself, and identify patterns and behaviors that may be holding you back.

In addition to self-reflection, journaling can also be a valuable tool in the journey of self-discovery. Journaling allows you to process your thoughts and feelings, and can also serve as a record of your progress. It's a great way to track your goals, and to reflect on your experiences and what you have learned from them.

In addition to all of the above, self-discovery also involves learning to love and accept yourself. It's about understanding that you are worthy and deserving of love and happiness, and that you have the power to create the life you want. It's about embracing your flaws and imperfections, and learning to see the beauty in them.

Self-discovery is a lifelong journey that requires patience, perseverance, and an open mind. It's not always easy, and there will be times when you feel lost or uncertain. But with the right mindset and approach, you can uncover your true potential and live a life that is authentic and meaningful to you.

In conclusion, the art of self-discovery is a journey of understanding yourself, your values and beliefs, and what you want to achieve in life. It requires you to develop self-awareness, set goals, take action, reflect on your experiences and thoughts, journal, and most importantly to love and accept yourself. Remember that self-discovery is a lifelong journey, so be patient and stay committed to it, eventually you will uncover your true potential.

Breaking Through Barriers to Reach Your Goals!

Have you ever had a big goal that you were so excited to accomplish and then you just gave up on it?

One of the reasons we do not face our goals is because when we are faced with an unexpected barrier that we're unsure how to deal with, we shut down. We become discouraged, we start making excuses, and we allow ourselves to back off of our original plan. While this is a human and natural tendency, it's not conducive to success.

God places these big goals in our spirit because He knows that we can accomplish them. He knows that we have the tools within us to succeed, but we have to be willing to go through all of the obstacles and stay the course in order to get there.

An important step that you can take to avoid this barrier blunder is that of carefully planning your goal to include backup plans for all those little "what ifs” and get into spiritual alignment with God.

"What if I don't pass the prerequisite course?"

"What if I don't get the loan?"

"What if I run out of time?"

"What if the marketing doesn't work?"

"What if I just don't feel like it?"

These are all very real barriers that keep us from realizing our life dreams. By planning for them, we greatly improve our chances of succeeding and experience the power of being unstoppable.

What kind of barriers can you preplan?

1. Internal Barriers

Internal barriers include the thoughts you have about your goal, success, and yourself that keep you from being successful. They include your personal fears, motivation, self-esteem, and paradigms.

"What if I just don't feel like doing my assignment?"

Solution - commit to working on it for at least 15 minutes. Then take a break and come back to it later

"What if my fear of the phone keeps me from following through on my marketing campaign?"

Solution - have a friend help me make phone calls. It might not be so bad if I'm not alone.

"What if I find myself procrastinating?"

Solution - ask a friend to call me every day to remind me to spend a little time on my goal. Work on my goal first thing in the morning to get it done and over with.

1. External Barriers

External barriers include barriers such as money, time, other people's reactions, resources, and results. We are not in direct control of them, but we can affect how they work and we can still plan around them.

"What if the client turns down my proposal?"

Solution - ask questions to find out why, and resubmit it.

"What if I forget the worksheets?"

Solution - Scan a copy of it to your email and then find a printer to get new copies made.

"What if I can’t find anything healthy on the menu?"

Solution - look at the restaurant menu ahead of time and find items that fit your way of eating.

When you find yourself faced with internal or external barriers, remember that these things are all a part of a bigger plan. Don’t let them throw you off track. It is in those moments that you should pray, reach out for support, be open to talking through what the barrier is with someone you trust and maybe they can help with ideas to overcome them. 

Don’t let the barriers in life stop you from truly stepping into alignment with who you are and all that you are meant to be.

Practice this technique with even your small, short-term goals. It feels great to know that when a brick wall appears in your path, you have the perfect solution for getting around it and getting back on the road to achievement!

Can I have a little bit of grace?

Every day, I find myself questioning whether or not I am good at enough at any of the things that are currently my responsibility. I question whether I am doing all of the right things as a mom, a wife, a student, an employee, etc.. This morning around 0330, it dawned on me that I don’t have to be perfect at everything. There has only ever been one perfect person, and He understands and loves my imperfections. So why have I been beating myself up about them? As a mom, I think that it is hard for me to be okay with making a mistake. I mean, I have been given the responsibility of shaping my son and daughter into the people that they will be for the rest of their lives. That is a huge responsibility.

I want them to be wonderful human beings and I know that my influence will help shape that, but I also know that everyone makes mistakes. It is inevitable. Parenthood does not come with a step by step manual that you can follow day by day to make sure that you are hitting every single point perfectly. That is unrealistic and could you imagine how long that would take someone to actually come up with that? And who has the authority to actually say what the right and wrong way to parent would be? It is so disheartening when I am on social media and I see women bashing other women about the way that they are parenting their children. Unless someone is abusing or neglecting their child, I don’t think anyone has the right to say that what one person is doing is wrong. It is probably what works best for their life and we have no right to judge that.

I am a strong believer in the saying that you can’t tell me how to live my life unless you have first walked a mile in my shoes. Until you know exactly what someone is dealing with, you will never be the expert on what they should or should not be doing with their children, their marriage, their career or any other aspect of life. I find it extremely difficult to believe that I am doing every single thing in my life 100% well every single day, but I have learned to give myself a little bit of grace. I looked at a pile of clothes that I knew needed to be folded last night and I opted to read my kids two more bedtime stories instead. Normally, I would have stayed up really late folding the clothes, but I had other things that I needed to do and I will fold the clothes. There won’t be any war on laundry happening in the next few hours, so I am sure it will be fine.

I am taking this approach with every aspect of my life. I am going to prioritize the things that matter and make sure that I am accomplishing those to the best of my abilities instead of trying to do everything all at once. This approach makes the planner in me a little bit nervous, but I know that in order to be good at anything, I have to be great emotionally, mentally and physically and I know that being stressed out and exhausted about everything was actually accomplishing nothing. So, I am prepared to tackle today and I will be okay with leaving a few things undone as long as I know that the things I did complete were done to the best of my abilities. Isn’t that what life is about anyway?

Oh you know, just having a little meltdown

Today (Sunday) was such a beautiful day in my area. A friend of mine invited me to go to the Norfolk Botanical Gardens a while back and this weekend was perfect for my first trip. With a 3-year old and a 5-month-old, each trip out of the house is a big deal, especially if you are going out for more than a few minutes. I got everyone ready and headed out of the house on time! I mean, just getting out of the house on time with everything that I needed was a huge win in my book.

This was my first time going to the botanical garden and all I knew was that I could not wait to be surrounded by beautiful flowers and trees. Who doesn’t enjoy that? As we walked through the gardens, I was in awe of how beautiful all the flowers were. There was such an amazing variety of flowers and trees. I let my three-year-old walk (mostly run) through the trails, because he had the energy to spare and I figured it would tire him out (win win for me, right?). Tariq was enjoying the freedom to run about and touch all the flowers, leaves, rocks, and whatever else he saw. Tayce was pretty much just along for the ride.

We were at the garden for about an hour and a half before Tariq decided that no amount of beauty would make him calm. We were walking through a really interesting kid zone at the garden and had been in there for about 20 minutes. We were planning to continue walking, when he decided that he didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t just leave him in the kid section. That is pretty much frowned upon by everyone. So, I picked him up to bring him back to where my friends and Tayce were waiting.

I get back to the stroller and Tariq breaks down. I am not talking a few tears, I am talking a full-blown meltdown. Mind you, this garden is a place that is very quiet and completely relaxing. Well….Tariq at that very moment felt the exact opposite of that. He wanted everything and nothing all at once. As a mom, I knew that he had just gotten sleepy and he was fighting it with everything he could, but in that moment, it took over. He screamed and screamed as we walked through groups of people, who of course were curious about the child that was screaming. I have witnessed many meltdowns and have experienced them a few times, when I need to run errands during nap time.

This particular breakdown made me realize that even in the midst of a beautiful setting, things may not always be as great as they seem. As an adult, I do not normally scream and cry, but I can relate to my son in the sense that sometimes, people see our lives as beautiful and perfect, but meanwhile, we are breaking down inside. Everything surrounding us may look to be put together perfectly, but they are not aware of what is going on inside. My son was exhausted and that was his way of letting me know. He wanted to run and be free in this beautiful place, but he was truly exhausted.

I have felt that way many times in life and I often threw a tantrum in my own way. It reminded me that although a person’s life or situation may appear beautiful to you, you don’t know their internal struggles. We all deal with our internal struggles differently, and we can’t judge the way that a person’s struggles may surface. You also can’t just assume that your view of their life is their reality. Much like my son, no matter how beautiful your surroundings seem, once you have reached a point of physical, mental, or emotional exhaustion, your internal struggles may make an appearance in a very public way. For my son, the solution was simple, he just needed to go to sleep. For others, it is not always that simple. I must remind myself that it is okay to feel however I feel in that moment despite what other people think about my life. They may see perfection, but we each have our struggles. Don’t judge someone else’s meltdown because you think that their situation is perfect. Luckily, I had two very awesome people to help me navigate dealing with my son and my daughter, all while trying to make it back to my car. In life, we need to surround ourselves with people that are willing to help you pick up the pieces after things have fallen apart. Not those people that make you feel bad about the fact that things fell apart. Trust me, there are enough onlookers that will already make you feel that way. Much like me today, you’ve just got to gather yourself up, and push through without really caring what those around you are thinking. If I can push a screaming toddler and a confused five-month-old through a very busy garden and make it out in one piece, you can too. If someone asks you what’s going on just say, “Oh you know, just having a little meltdown”, smile and walk away. I guarantee they won’t ask you again.