Today (Sunday) was such a beautiful day in my area. A friend of mine invited me to go to the Norfolk Botanical Gardens a while back and this weekend was perfect for my first trip. With a 3-year old and a 5-month-old, each trip out of the house is a big deal, especially if you are going out for more than a few minutes. I got everyone ready and headed out of the house on time! I mean, just getting out of the house on time with everything that I needed was a huge win in my book.

This was my first time going to the botanical garden and all I knew was that I could not wait to be surrounded by beautiful flowers and trees. Who doesn’t enjoy that? As we walked through the gardens, I was in awe of how beautiful all the flowers were. There was such an amazing variety of flowers and trees. I let my three-year-old walk (mostly run) through the trails, because he had the energy to spare and I figured it would tire him out (win win for me, right?). Tariq was enjoying the freedom to run about and touch all the flowers, leaves, rocks, and whatever else he saw. Tayce was pretty much just along for the ride.

We were at the garden for about an hour and a half before Tariq decided that no amount of beauty would make him calm. We were walking through a really interesting kid zone at the garden and had been in there for about 20 minutes. We were planning to continue walking, when he decided that he didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t just leave him in the kid section. That is pretty much frowned upon by everyone. So, I picked him up to bring him back to where my friends and Tayce were waiting.

I get back to the stroller and Tariq breaks down. I am not talking a few tears, I am talking a full-blown meltdown. Mind you, this garden is a place that is very quiet and completely relaxing. Well….Tariq at that very moment felt the exact opposite of that. He wanted everything and nothing all at once. As a mom, I knew that he had just gotten sleepy and he was fighting it with everything he could, but in that moment, it took over. He screamed and screamed as we walked through groups of people, who of course were curious about the child that was screaming. I have witnessed many meltdowns and have experienced them a few times, when I need to run errands during nap time.

This particular breakdown made me realize that even in the midst of a beautiful setting, things may not always be as great as they seem. As an adult, I do not normally scream and cry, but I can relate to my son in the sense that sometimes, people see our lives as beautiful and perfect, but meanwhile, we are breaking down inside. Everything surrounding us may look to be put together perfectly, but they are not aware of what is going on inside. My son was exhausted and that was his way of letting me know. He wanted to run and be free in this beautiful place, but he was truly exhausted.

I have felt that way many times in life and I often threw a tantrum in my own way. It reminded me that although a person’s life or situation may appear beautiful to you, you don’t know their internal struggles. We all deal with our internal struggles differently, and we can’t judge the way that a person’s struggles may surface. You also can’t just assume that your view of their life is their reality. Much like my son, no matter how beautiful your surroundings seem, once you have reached a point of physical, mental, or emotional exhaustion, your internal struggles may make an appearance in a very public way. For my son, the solution was simple, he just needed to go to sleep. For others, it is not always that simple. I must remind myself that it is okay to feel however I feel in that moment despite what other people think about my life. They may see perfection, but we each have our struggles. Don’t judge someone else’s meltdown because you think that their situation is perfect. Luckily, I had two very awesome people to help me navigate dealing with my son and my daughter, all while trying to make it back to my car. In life, we need to surround ourselves with people that are willing to help you pick up the pieces after things have fallen apart. Not those people that make you feel bad about the fact that things fell apart. Trust me, there are enough onlookers that will already make you feel that way. Much like me today, you’ve just got to gather yourself up, and push through without really caring what those around you are thinking. If I can push a screaming toddler and a confused five-month-old through a very busy garden and make it out in one piece, you can too. If someone asks you what’s going on just say, “Oh you know, just having a little meltdown”, smile and walk away. I guarantee they won’t ask you again.