I’m Not Waiting for a Flat Stomach to Start Living

Let me be real, my relationship with my body has never been great. I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life when I felt truly comfortable in my skin. I’ve always been aware of my body… too aware. Whether it was how my jeans fit, how my arms looked in photos, or how my stomach folded when I sat down. There was always something I was trying to “fix.” And for a long time, I thought that was just normal.

But over the years, especially after becoming a mom and being in a relationship that broke more than just my heart, that discomfort grew into something deeper. Something heavier. Something that made me feel like my body wasn’t just imperfect… it was a burden.

Pregnancy changed my body in ways I wasn’t prepared for. I gained weight, I stretched in places that never bounced back, and I didn’t “snap back” the way social media told me I should. And let me tell you, it didn’t help being in a relationship where I was constantly made to feel like I was no longer desirable or worth loving. I’ll never forget the comments he used to make, things like, “You used to care about how you looked,” or “You were smaller when I met you” or “do you really think someone is going to want you”……..

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I internalized every word.

I stopped wearing anything form-fitting. I avoided mirrors. I wouldn’t take pictures with my kids because I couldn’t stand how I looked. And deep down, I thought if I could just lose the weight, maybe he’d love me better. Maybe he’d see me again.

But let’s be honest, no amount of shrinking was ever going to make that relationship healthy. And the truth is, I wasn’t just trying to lose weight, I was trying to lose the parts of myself that I had been taught were unlovable.

After I left, I thought things would get better. I thought I’d instantly feel free and strong and confident again. But healing isn’t like that, it’s messy. I had to face the reality that I’d been at war with my body for years, long before him. I’d made my worth dependent on how I looked for so long, I didn’t know how to separate the two.

But what I did know was this: I was tired.

Tired of hiding.
Tired of skipping out on moments with my kids.
Tired of letting shame control my life.

So I decided to stop waiting until I was “better” to start living again. I made a choice, not to love every inch of myself overnight, but to at least stop punishing my body for not looking like it used to, or like somebody else’s.

I started standing in the mirror a little longer. I started taking pictures again, even on the days I wasn’t feeling like my best self. I wore the dress, went to the brunch, danced in my living room with the lights on. And slowly, I began to feel like myself again. Not because my body changed, but because my mindset did.

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Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a process. I still have days where I struggle. There are still times I catch my reflection and that old voice creeps in, ready to tear me down. But now, I talk back. Now, I remind myself of what this body has carried. Not just babies, but pain, trauma, heartbreak, stress, and still managed to get me through every single day.

This body deserves more than criticism. It deserves grace.
It deserves joy.
It deserves to be seen.

I’m not hiding anymore. I’ve done enough of that. And I don’t want my daughter growing up thinking that’s what confidence looks like, shrinking yourself just to fit in, just to be loved, just to be accepted. I want her to see her mom showing up in full. Not because I think I’m perfect, but because I finally know I don’t have to be.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re too much, not enough, too soft, too big, too different, just know I see you. I’ve been you. And I still have days where I am you.

But I’m learning to take up space anyway.

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You don’t have to wait until you lose 10 pounds or until your stomach is flat to start living. You don’t have to skip the beach or crop yourself out of the photo. You don’t have to wear that extra layer just to feel less noticeable.

You are not a before or after photo.
You’re a whole, complex, beautiful woman right now.

So wear the thing.
Take the picture.
Get in the frame.
Show up for your life, even if your confidence is still catching up.

Because this body?
It’s carried you through everything.
And it deserves to be loved, not later, but today.

Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thinking: How to Cultivate a Positive Mindset

Negative thinking can be a difficult habit to break, but it's important to recognize that it's not a permanent state of mind. Negative thoughts can lead to feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and sadness, and can even affect our physical health. But the good news is that by changing our thoughts and attitudes, we can improve our mental and physical well-being.

One of the most effective ways to break the cycle of negative thinking is to challenge negative thoughts when they arise. Negative thoughts can be irrational, and often they are not based on facts. When you notice yourself thinking negatively, try to question the thought and see if there is any evidence to support it. For example, if you're thinking, "I'll never be able to accomplish this task," ask yourself, "Is that really true? Have I been able to accomplish similar tasks in the past?" Often, we'll find that our negative thoughts are not based on reality and can be reframed in a more positive light.

Another powerful way to cultivate a positive mindset is to practice gratitude. Taking time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and towards the positive aspects of your life. This can be as simple as writing down three things you're grateful for each day or taking a few minutes to reflect on the good things that have happened to you.

Engaging in positive self-talk is another important step in cultivating a positive mindset. Be mindful of the language you use when speaking to yourself and try to use positive, encouraging words. Instead of saying "I can't do this," try saying "I can do this" or "I'll figure it out." It may sound small, but positive self-talk can have a big impact on our confidence and motivation.

Surrounding yourself with positive people can also play a big role in our mindset. Seek out positive, supportive relationships and spend time with people who bring out the best in you. Positive people will lift you up and help you see the best in yourself. On the other hand, spending time with negative or critical people can bring you down and make it harder to maintain a positive attitude.

Lastly, taking care of yourself is essential to cultivating a positive mindset. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and getting regular exercise. Taking care of your physical well-being can have a big impact on your mental well-being. When we're tired, stressed, or not feeling well, it can be harder to maintain a positive attitude.

It's also important to note that these strategies take time and practice to see results. Be patient with yourself and keep working on cultivating a positive mindset. Remember that negative thinking is a habit, and like any habit, it can be broken. The more you practice positive thinking, the easier it will become.

In conclusion, negative thinking can be a difficult habit to break, but by challenging negative thoughts, practicing gratitude, engaging in positive self-talk, surrounding ourselves with positive people, and taking care of ourselves, we can cultivate a positive mindset. Remember to be patient with yourself and keep working at it, it will take time and practice to see results. Positive mindset will not only make you feel good, but it will also improve our mental and physical well-being.

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Are you looking to increase your confidence, realign your faith, and create healthy habits that help you transform your life and show up empowered in your everyday life? If so, send me a message, and let’s see if we are a good fit to work together 1:1!

Learning What to Accept and When to Let Go...

Life is a journey full of ups and downs, twists and turns, victories and defeats, and it's easy to get caught up in the turmoil of everyday challenges. From broken relationships to unfulfilled dreams, there are countless obstacles that can weigh us down and make us feel like we're stuck in a rut. However, the path to inner peace lies in the power of acceptance and letting go.

Acceptance is a vital aspect of finding inner peace. It is the act of acknowledging what has happened or what is currently happening in our lives. It doesn't mean that we approve or condone what has happened, but rather that we recognize and acknowledge the situation. By accepting the situation, we can begin to move forward and find peace within ourselves. Acceptance is about letting go of the past and the things that we cannot change, and focusing on the present moment.

Acceptance requires us to be honest with ourselves and others. We must recognize and accept the things that we cannot change and have the courage to make the necessary changes to improve our lives. Acceptance is not about giving up or giving in, but rather about facing reality and taking action to make the most of the situation. It can be a difficult process, but it is essential for our emotional and mental well-being.

Letting go is another crucial aspect of finding inner peace. It means releasing the emotional attachment to a situation or person. It doesn't mean that we forget or ignore what happened, but rather that we allow ourselves to move forward without holding onto negative emotions. When we let go, we free ourselves from the emotional burden and open ourselves up to new possibilities. Letting go means forgiving ourselves and others, and releasing any anger, resentment, or bitterness that we may be holding onto.

The process of acceptance and letting go can be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. It requires us to be vulnerable and to face our emotions head-on. We must be willing to let go of our need for control and allow ourselves to surrender to what is. The process can be slow and gradual, but over time, we will begin to notice a shift in our mindset and a sense of inner peace that was previously unavailable.

Here are some steps you can take to start the process of acceptance and letting go:

• Take the time to recognize how you feel about the situation or person that you are struggling to accept or let go of.

• Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel the emotions without judgment.

• Avoid dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Stay in the present moment and focus on what you can control.

• Meditation and other mindfulness practices can help you stay present and focused.

• Talk to a trusted friend or seek professional help if you need support during the process.

• Take time each day to focus on the things that you are grateful for in your life.

• Reflect on how you have handled similar situations in the past, and what worked or didn't work for you. Use this knowledge to inform your approach to acceptance and letting go.

In conclusion, acceptance and letting go are essential components of finding inner peace. By acknowledging our emotions, practicing self-compassion, focusing on the present, seeking support, practicing mindfulness, and reflecting on past experiences, we can begin to let go of the negative emotions that are holding us back. The journey to inner peace may not be easy, but with time and patience, we can find the peace and contentment that we all seek. Ultimately, the path to inner peace lies within ourselves, and it is up to us to take the necessary steps to find it.

Breaking Through Barriers to Reach Your Goals!

Have you ever had a big goal that you were so excited to accomplish and then you just gave up on it?

One of the reasons we do not face our goals is because when we are faced with an unexpected barrier that we're unsure how to deal with, we shut down. We become discouraged, we start making excuses, and we allow ourselves to back off of our original plan. While this is a human and natural tendency, it's not conducive to success.

God places these big goals in our spirit because He knows that we can accomplish them. He knows that we have the tools within us to succeed, but we have to be willing to go through all of the obstacles and stay the course in order to get there.

An important step that you can take to avoid this barrier blunder is that of carefully planning your goal to include backup plans for all those little "what ifs” and get into spiritual alignment with God.

"What if I don't pass the prerequisite course?"

"What if I don't get the loan?"

"What if I run out of time?"

"What if the marketing doesn't work?"

"What if I just don't feel like it?"

These are all very real barriers that keep us from realizing our life dreams. By planning for them, we greatly improve our chances of succeeding and experience the power of being unstoppable.

What kind of barriers can you preplan?

1. Internal Barriers

Internal barriers include the thoughts you have about your goal, success, and yourself that keep you from being successful. They include your personal fears, motivation, self-esteem, and paradigms.

"What if I just don't feel like doing my assignment?"

Solution - commit to working on it for at least 15 minutes. Then take a break and come back to it later

"What if my fear of the phone keeps me from following through on my marketing campaign?"

Solution - have a friend help me make phone calls. It might not be so bad if I'm not alone.

"What if I find myself procrastinating?"

Solution - ask a friend to call me every day to remind me to spend a little time on my goal. Work on my goal first thing in the morning to get it done and over with.

1. External Barriers

External barriers include barriers such as money, time, other people's reactions, resources, and results. We are not in direct control of them, but we can affect how they work and we can still plan around them.

"What if the client turns down my proposal?"

Solution - ask questions to find out why, and resubmit it.

"What if I forget the worksheets?"

Solution - Scan a copy of it to your email and then find a printer to get new copies made.

"What if I can’t find anything healthy on the menu?"

Solution - look at the restaurant menu ahead of time and find items that fit your way of eating.

When you find yourself faced with internal or external barriers, remember that these things are all a part of a bigger plan. Don’t let them throw you off track. It is in those moments that you should pray, reach out for support, be open to talking through what the barrier is with someone you trust and maybe they can help with ideas to overcome them. 

Don’t let the barriers in life stop you from truly stepping into alignment with who you are and all that you are meant to be.

Practice this technique with even your small, short-term goals. It feels great to know that when a brick wall appears in your path, you have the perfect solution for getting around it and getting back on the road to achievement!